Faith and Trust in Lancaster (The Amish of Lancaster County #2) Read online

  One glance at the bread told her otherwise. It had turned into a black, misshapen hunk of coal.

  Annie’s knees buckled, and she collapsed onto the floor. She couldn’t live like this. Burning her mamm’s bread was too much even for her flighty tendencies. Curled into a ball, sobbing helplessly, she prayed God would see fit to provide her with an answer—and soon!

  * * *

  Aaron frowned at his best friend, Jacob King. “You’ve been really surly lately,” he said. “I didn’t want to say anything before, but it’s obvious something is going on with you. What is it?”

  Jacob gritted his teeth and continued dusting the figurines in his daed’s shop. “It’s nothing,” he said at last.

  “Is your daed after you to get married again?” Aaron could sympathize with that. He had promised his parents he would stop thinking about a certain English girl, but so far, he hadn’t held to that. In fact, Katie was stopping by in an hour, and he’d already set aside his mother’s wonderful apple butter and bread for a little picnic. He’d convinced himself that as long as they were just friends, though, it wasn’t any cause for alarm. He would find someone to marry. Just not yet.

  Jacob froze, then whirled on him. “Ya,” he said, laughing bitterly, “you might say that.”

  Aaron patted his shoulder. “It’s rough,” he said. “Trust me, I know.”

  For a second, Jacob looked on the verge of saying more, but then he snapped his mouth shut. “My daed says he’s impressed by the work you’ve done with the shop,” he finally said instead.

  Normally Aaron would have been thrilled to get the compliment. Now, though, he just felt anxious. What was going on with Jacob?

  Without another word, Jacob disappeared into the back. Aaron shrugged and reminded himself that he couldn’t push. If and when Jacob wanted to talk, he would. In the meantime, Aaron had his own worries.

  He spent the next fifteen minutes organizing the various displays of figurines, preserves, and quilts. He’d have to remember to ask his mamm, but wasn’t it time for the yearly quilting bee? This one was a little different from the little quilting bees that women in the community would hold from time to time; this was the big event that was officially open to Englischers.

  His mamm was a fabulous quilter. So good with a needle, it was like magic. Not that he believed in magic, of course, but if he did, his mamm’s quilting would be proof of it. Her stitches were so small and even, it was hard to believe no machine was involved. But she insisted on sewing by hand, no matter how long it took. Her sense of color and patterns created a sense of harmony that few Englischers could resist. Few other Plain ladies, for that matter.

  He wondered if Katie might be interested in quilting. Maybe that would be something he could use to introduce her to the community. His mamm loved talking about and teaching quilting, so maybe she would be more accepting of Katie if she showed an interest.

  Jacob stomped back into the shop proper, glaring at nothing in particular. “Why does everyone think Stephen Beiler is so wonderful?” he muttered.

  Startled, Aaron could only stare. “They do?” Stephen seemed like a nice enough person, but Aaron had never thought much about him one way or another. In fact, before Annie had become engaged to Stephen, Aaron wasn’t sure he had exchanged more than five words with the man. So intent on becoming a farmer like his daed, Stephen hadn’t even gone on rumspringa, whereas Aaron had been chomping at the bit to go.

  Jacob didn’t even seem to have heard. “Stephen this, Stephen that,” he growled.

  Aaron was genuinely confused. “Who’s saying that?”

  Jacob stopped long enough to stare at him. “Oh, never mind,” he huffed. “Here comes your lady friend, anyway.” As Katie entered the shop, a cheery smile on her face, he stalked away.

  Mystified, Aaron stared after him. They’d been friends since childhood, and though Jacob had always had a bit of a temper, he’d never had a black cloud hanging around him like he did these days.

  Katie raised her eyebrows. They were slender and perfectly manicured, framing her big, beautiful eyes. “Everything okay?”

  “I am so sorry for his behavior,” Aaron said in a low voice. “Honestly, I don’t know what has gotten into him lately.”

  “It’s fine. Everyone has bad days,” Katie said, smiling sympathetically. “Anyway, how are you?”

  Quilting, Aaron remembered. “I’m doing great!” he said, a little too brightly. “And I thought of something. You know how you were wondering about our handicrafts?”

  “Crafts done by hand.” Katie nodded. Aaron couldn’t help noticing how good her purple dress looked on her. “Right. I sure am!”

  “Well, my mamm is a master quilter, and the annual open quilting bee is coming up, so I thought . . .” Aaron faltered. No way would Katie go for this. He was such a fool to have thought otherwise.

  “You thought?” Katie urged, leaning forward on the counter.

  She’s so pretty, Aaron thought. He still wasn’t quite sure why she was spending so much of her time with him. He did know, though, that he wasn’t about to tell her that! “Yes, I thought . . . well, did I tell you my mamm quilts?”

  “No,” said Katie. “But go on.”

  Aaron forced himself to blurt it out. “I thought you might like to learn how to quilt from my mamm. She’s going to be giving workshops for English people at the big quilting bee coming up next week.”

  “That sounds really nice, actually,” Katie said, her voice growing warmer by the second. “I would love to!”

  Aaron heaved a huge sigh of relief. “I’m so glad,” he told her. For a second, he’d been afraid she would laugh at him and maybe even call him a naïve Amish boy. Instead, her eyes shone as she considered the idea.

  “Why don’t we go for a walk to celebrate?” Katie asked suddenly, bouncing on her toes. “I mean, unless you still have to work.”

  Aaron thought about it for exactly ten seconds. “I do have an hour left on this shift, but I think Jacob can handle it.” With a grin, he turned and called, “Jacob, I’m leaving the shop in your care! Got something to do!”

  Before Jacob could argue, Aaron had grabbed Katie’s elbow and escorted her outside. The two of them laughed and laughed. “I’m so glad you said yes,” Katie confided, wiping tears from her eyes. “I kind of thought you would, though.”

  “You did, did you?” Aaron teased, nudging her in the side.

  “I did!” she said, hurrying to her bicycle. A basket hung from the handlebars. “I brought a picnic!”

  Aaron’s whole body grew warm, and his heart thudded in his chest. “That was the surprise I’d been planning for you,” he confessed.

  “Great minds think alike, huh?” Katie took the basket from the bike and twirled around. “Where should we go?”

  Aaron knew just the spot. “Follow me!” he said, hurrying into the fields. There was an absolutely gorgeous clearing with a willow tree a five-minute walk from the shop. He’d sat beneath it and read many a book there during the summers. But the thought of being there with Katie, eating and laughing under the shade from the branches, made him breathe a little faster. Dear God, he thought, if this is Your will, and surely it must be, please show me the best way to proceed. He didn’t want to hurt or scare Katie in any way.

  Outwardly, he said, “I’m taking you to one of my favorite places. It’s so peaceful, and right now, there should be lots of wild daisies.”

  “That sounds amazing,” Katie gushed, easily keeping pace with him despite the basket.

  “Do you want me to take that?” he asked belatedly, feeling silly. He should have thought of that in the first place!

  “No, no, I’m fine,” she insisted, skipping to prove her point.

  Aaron laughed and raced on ahead. But he stopped short as soon the tree came into sight. Annie! What was she doing here?

  Annie noticed him at the same time, and the dreamy smile on her face melted right off, only to be replaced by nervous worry. “What—what are y
ou doing here?” she asked. “And who’s this?”

  Aaron felt paralyzed. He hadn’t thought anyone would be here, let alone a member of his family. The last thing he wanted was for his parents to know he had still been spending time with Katie. Not before he brought up the quilting idea to his mamm, anyway.

  But Katie, smart as always, rushed in to save the day. “Hello, I’m Katie! You must be Aaron’s sister Annie.” She held out her hand.

  Both Annie and Aaron gaped at her. “How did you know?” Aaron managed.

  “Don’t be silly,” she said. “You’ve told me about your family, and if you love this spot, surely she must, too . . .” Aaron kept gaping. “Okay, fine. You two look alike. Really, really alike.”

  “What are you doing here, anyway?” Aaron interrupted. His head whirled. This was the last thing he’d expected.

  “I . . . I just wanted some privacy,” Annie said, “a place where I could think. I need a good idea for a birthday gift for Stephen, but I can’t think of anything original that I could still make.”

  “Stephen?” asked Katie politely. “A friend of yours?”

  “Her betrothed, actually,” Aaron corrected. “Well, sorry to bother you, but Katie brought a picnic, so I thought we’d have it out here.”

  “I know! Why don’t we invite Annie to join us, and then maybe we’ll be able to help her brainstorm a present?” Katie looked overcome with joy at her own idea.

  “Um, sure,” Aaron said, at the same time Annie, glancing anxiously over her shoulder, said, “Oh, but I couldn’t—”

  “Sure, you can,” Katie insisted. “I’d like to get to know your family, especially if I’m going to be at the quilting bee!”

  “You sew?” asked Annie, surprised enough to stop frowning and looking around for invisible guests. Aaron couldn’t figure out who or what she was expecting to find.

  “I don’t, but I’d like to learn,” Katie said shyly. She began unloading the items in the picnic basket: strawberry preserves, whole-wheat crackers, walnuts, dried dates, and cheese. Aaron’s mouth watered in anticipation.

  “Oh, that’s wonderful!” Annie said, relaxing. “Did Katie tell you I won second place in the bee two years ago? I would have gotten first place, but I’d made a crazy quilt, and that was a little too much for some of the ladies.”

  Aaron barely refrained from rolling his eyes. Couldn’t Annie tell that she was in the way? He reached for the container of dates and popped two into his mouth. “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.” He hoped his voice made it clear that he thought Annie should get moving.

  Instead, Annie sat down on the blanket she’d laid out over the grass. “So am I!” She launched into a discussion of fabric and patterns, and Katie eagerly joined in, full of animated questions. Aaron quickly grew bored and found himself wishing he’d stayed to finish his shift in Jacob’s daed’s shop.

  Then, as if Aaron’s thought had summoned him, Jacob appeared. His eyes narrowed when he saw the tableau. He frowned at Annie, then at Katie and Aaron. “So this is why you left me to cover the shop myself?”

  “Calm down, Jacob,” Aaron said. “It’s just a picnic, nothing big.”

  Oddly, Jacob frowned at Annie again. She looked away.

  “Would you like to join us?” Katie offered tentatively. Even she didn’t sound like she genuinely wanted that, and Jacob couldn’t have missed the reluctance in her voice.

  “They’re on a picnic. I think we should let them be, Annie,” Jacob said. He leaned down and held out his arm. “Why don’t you take a walk with me?”

  Annie reluctantly took his hand and let Jacob help her to her feet. “Save me some chocolate-covered almonds!” she said lightly, and then they were gone.

  In the silence, Aaron didn’t know where to look. Katie looked disappointed, and that made him angry. Trust Annie and her drama to ruin the afternoon. It had always been like that, Annie needing all eyes on her ever since she was born, and when that wasn’t the case, she would invent a reason to bring the attention back to her. He didn’t think she knew she was doing it, but that didn’t change anything.

  In a way, it’s a shame she didn’t become an actress, after all. At least then, she’d have a good channel for all this dramatic flair.

  He shook his head and scooted closer to Katie. He spread a cracker with strawberry preserves, then met Katie’s eyes and offered her the cracker. She opened her mouth, and he felt a stab of shame. Was this proper? But as her eyes twinkled at him, he pushed the cracker forward. She crunched down, laughing, and before he knew it, her hand was in his. It was so soft and warm.

  What would it be like to kiss her? The thought swirled, unbidden, through his brain. He knew it was wrong, knew he wasn’t to touch a woman outside of an engagement, but she looked as delicious as the food from her basket.

  She fed him a date, and he brought a piece of cheese to her lips. She offered him a cracker, and he fed her a handful of walnuts, one after the other. Then, without stopping to think, he leaned forward and grazed her temple with his lips. It was far enough from her mouth to be safe, but she still shivered.

  “I really like you, Aaron,” she whispered, her eyes closed. The words came out soft as clouds, and Aaron’s heart swelled. “I hope you know that.”

  “I really like you, too,” he whispered into her ear, then sat back. But even with the new distance separating them, they remained connected at the hand. Aaron wasn’t sure his hand would ever be able to let go of hers, but he did know that he didn’t mind at all.

  * * *

  Annie had to run to keep up with Jacob’s angry strides. “Can’t we slow down?” she pleaded.

  “I thought you asked me to meet you because you’d made your decision,” he responded, walking even faster.

  “That’s not fair,” Annie protested. “It’s only been a couple days.” But inside, she knew he had a point.

  Jacob abruptly stopped and faced her. Annie almost tripped over herself in her haste to backtrack. “Annie, why did you call me out there?”

  “To join us for a picnic?” Annie joked, but the humor fell flat, and she knew it. Jacob didn’t even acknowledge the pathetic attempt at wit. Instead, he focused the intensity of his fiery gaze on her, leaving her nowhere to hide. “I . . . I just wanted to see you,” she admitted at last.

  “But why?” Jacob asked, and his voice was as soft and uncertain as a little boy’s. His mouth pulled to one side in the uncertain gesture only she ever saw. He put a hand to her cheek. Annie’s kapp suddenly felt too constricting. She wanted to rip it off and undo her braids and let him run his hands through her long, loose hair.

  “This,” she said, her face flaming. Not knowing how to put it into words, she stammered, “Just—just this. Us. Like this.”

  She couldn’t look away from Jacob’s deep, heated gaze any more than he could look away from hers. Again, this impossible, maddening magnetic attraction. She loved and hated it at the same time. It should be Stephen making me feel like this! Jacob never held onto any dolls for me. He never wrote me any letters. God, what do you want from me?

  Annie knew all of those things, knew the very real risk she was taking with her future, even suspected that God might want her to choose Stephen, but right then, her body decided for her, leaning into Jacob’s embrace. He crushed her to him, but he didn’t kiss her right away. “Annie,” he said, his voice so low and intimate, her whole body felt alight with flame and sunshine. How could he have this effect on her?

  “I’m here,” she whispered.

  “But are you mine?” he pressed. “I need to know.”

  She crushed her mouth to his, and for a moment, they kissed hungrily, each seeking something only the other could provide. But in the end, Jacob must not have been pleased with what she offered, because he pulled back, his lips puffy and his eyes wild. “Annie,” he pleaded, “did you leave him? Tell me you did.”

  She could hear the question lurking beneath the question. What he really wanted to know was whethe
r she had chosen him. Him, not Stephen.

  And she couldn’t say no, and she couldn’t say yes, so she turned away, seeking refuge in tears.

  Jacob made a sound of disgust and balled his fists at his sides. “I—I need to go,” he said, and he walked away, leaving Annie alone again.

  Alone, and torn between stormy passion and steady reliability.

  Then, to make things even worse, she heard a gasp. She spun around and saw Aaron and Katie. Katie looked confused, but Aaron stared at Annie with a mixture of disbelief and distrust. Annie forgot to breathe for a second, half a minute, a whole minute. Then the air rushed back into her lungs, and the world came back into focus. “Aaron—”

  Aaron shook his head. “You’re the reason Jacob has been in such a terrible mood? Because you . . you . . .” He turned away, unable to finish.

  A mulish sort of anger rose up in Annie. She wanted to rage at her brother, wanted to point out that he wasn’t any better than her, taking up with an English girl but pretending they were just friends. Anyone with eyes could see how Katie watched him. If the girl was genuinely interested in learning their ways, well, that was nice, but Annie didn’t think that was the only reason she was here. “Because I what, Aaron?”

  Katie put a tentative hand on Aaron’s shoulder, which he brushed off. He glared at Annie. “I saw you kissing him, Annie! My sister, who’s betrothed to another man, in a clinch with my best friend, who should know better! Both of you should know better!”

  Katie’s eyes widened in comprehension, but instead of the judgment Annie would have expected, her expression turned sympathetic. She was smart enough not to say anything, but Annie knew she had an ally.

  That gave her the courage to stand firm in front of her brother. “Yes, maybe we should have, but isn’t that between us?”

  Aaron’s eyebrows knitted together in a fierce frown. “Do you ever think of anyone but yourself, Annie? You would drag the Stoltzfus family name through the dirt if it meant you could get what you wanted. Don’t you understand? If you’d been seen anyone else, that would be it. Your engagement would be over. And everyone would be laughing behind their hands at us.”